Mediation for Elders

This post contributed by Sara-Lynn Reynolds of Home Instead Senior Care

They are disputes that start quietly but brew into volcanic pressure and believe it or not they can split families apart.

Mom’s left a pot boiling on the stove again, so her daughters want her to give up her house.

An elderly father is getting forgetful and isn’t paying his monthly bills. His children who live far away find out that dad’s heat and electricity were turned off. One son wants to get his father declared mentally incompetent, so the family can take control of his finances. Dad gets angry when the kids try to help. He doesn’t want his kids to know how much money he has and how his finances are organized.

Dad’s got more scrapes on his car than the grandkids do on their knees so let’s take his car keys. The kids warn their father that they are going to take away his car keys. He threatens to write them out of his will. The father knows he isn’t driving well anymore but he just doesn’t want to give the keys up, especially to his children.

Might be time to call in a family mediator.

Mediators come in as a neutral third-party to help families negotiate difficult situations and choices. With mediation, the family members, along with the parent, can usually come up with a unified solution.

Trickiest of all are the family dynamics. Unfortunately it is fairly common to hear one sibling reacting bitterly towards another. Long-established family roles can play out the minute siblings walk into mediation.

Good mediators make sure that the parents’ voice is heard… even if that person has Alzheimer’s or dementia and might have trouble following the conversation. Even with limitations on their capacity, people still have the ability to say whom and what family member they are most comfortable with…whom they respect, and trust, and where they like to live. They may not have the capability to make substantial legal or financial decisions, but they certainly have the ability to express opinions, wishes and desires.

The field of elder mediation is growing and has benefits over taking family disputes to court. Mediation provides an opportunity to come together, make decisions that tend to work as opposed to litigation that can be more expensive and more contentious. Mediation allows the ‘family’ to remain connected and feeling good about the consensus they have reached.

Although the field of ‘elder mediation’ is new and so far has little regulation, there are avenues to research:

State and Community Mediation Centers to Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation... website:  http://www.mcfm.org/
 

Ask your local Council on Aging or Home Care Service for assistance in locating someone that has experience in this field.

And always feel free to contact us at Home Instead Senior Care….

Sara-Lynn Reynolds

Community Liaison for Home Instead Senior Care

Why I am a member of the local Chamber of Commerce

Food - plain and simple.  When an ambassador meeting involves Asian food from Bobby's Asian Grill & Sushi why wouldn't I join?  Now you must be thinking, are you kidding me - FOOD?

OK, so maybe it isn't just the food, but food is definitely part of it.  Let me go back to the beginning.

Long before I went into business for myself as a web designer I was a child in a family of six, a friend in the neighborhood, a classmate at school, and before long an engineer at a big company.  What do these all have in common?  Each stage in my life was surrounded by the support of others whom in the end became as dear to me as my family.

Four years ago I took a leap of faith and left my engineering job behind me.  I actually sat down and spoke with my paster about it.    Bernie said all I needed was faith that God would provide.  Here I was thinking how would my family survive without that big paycheck…  In the end my stubborn faith pushed me to shut the door and pray another one would open.

So I set out on my own, became my own boss and started designing websites.  This is GREAT, I'm home for the kids and I'm designing.  What more could I need?  It took me a year to realize what was missing!  Money for sure - but I'm not one to ogle over dollar signs.  I missed my colleagues and friends and lets face it people in general.

So on a Tuesday morning I had a tea and muffin with Kara at the Tri-Town Chamber of Commerce and later the same day I enjoyed lunch at the Hockomock BNI chapter.      So yes I joined for food, food with others whom like me needed help being successful in business.   In addition to being a faithful person I also believe I am honest.  This is not a lie - I have never attended an event where there wasn't food.

So is food really the secret?  Three years later I'm happy to have my friends in business and my home-based business and without much worry money to show for my efforts.  Three years of meeting at least twice a week with friends over food to discuss how I can help their business and they can help mine - yes the most challenging of tasks are always understood more easily over the breaking of bread or egg roll in the case of Bobby's delicious food.

Yesterday I attended a luncheon once again, this time to recognize and applaud my fellow business friends at the Tri-Town Chamber of Commerce's annual Success & Service Awards.   To my great surprise I was the proud winner of the president's award.  On my plaque read "Commitment, Contribution and Community Service".   As I stood up to receive the award I thought to myself  -  did I do all those things?   Then it came to me - yes - while I sat among my friends enjoying food and drink we did work hard - didn't we. 

Cheers and God Bless,
Robin Clapp

Robin Clapp is the owner of Web Design by Robin.  She currently serves on the board of the Women's Business Network of Southeastern MA as the Leading Lady Webmaster.

Consignment Shopping - post by Dotty Wyman Designs

Have you ever considered shopping at a consignments shop for interior design items for your home? 

     

Recently, I went into the Canton consignment shop "Go Simple" and was pleasantly surprised with the selection they had to offer. 
       The owner, Janet Conroy, had many decorative items, as well as, serving pieces for your kitchen or dining room.  You do have to hunt for the right pieces, but the rewards are big and the price tag is small. 
        This is a place where it is easy to take a risk, since items are usually sold at a fraction of their original cost.  She has lamps, clocks, glassware, prints and furniture pieces.  I liked this shop, because it wasn't all furniture or large items.  I was able to purchase a working marble lamp base for $20 that just needed a little cleaning up and a shade.  I think the lamp will work well with the new lamps my client has purchased over the past several months. 
       Another item I saw was a grandmother clock.  This is a beautiful decorative piece that will add tremendous interest to a room.  This is something no one else will have and looks like an heirloom that has been passed down. 

         Consignment shopping can be a great way to find unique items that add character and age to any newly decorated space.

I plan to go to some other consignment shops in Needham and Hanover.  These shops focus more on furniture.  I will let you know if there are any interesting decorative pieces to be found

 Dotty
Dotty Wyman Designs
508.219.4739

http://www.dottywymandesigns.com/
http://dottywymandesigns.blogspot.com/

The "Aging Needs" of our parents

     Our lives have become increasingly hectic and in many cases fraught with stress so we can easily lose site of our parents and what might be called their ‘aging needs’. On top of the everyday 'work' of caring for your own growing family and your business it is easy to overlook what might be occurring with our senior parents. And then you wake up one morning and to your surprise you have suddenly 'become' the parent to your parents!  You realize that the upcoming years are going to be challenging and it dawns on you that neither you nor your parents have had "that discussion." 

     What should you do next...well, first, don't panic!  Soon your own children will be saying the same about you!  So, with that said, it just might be time to get to "that discussion" with your parents and your own children.  Secondly, realize that you are not alone in this dilemma, so there are many resources popping up all over that will help set you on the best path for your circumstances!   And thirdly, thanks to the huge population of baby boomers there is a flourishing senior care industry! 

     Know that all of us at Home Instead Senior Care will be available to assist you whenever you may need ‘direction’ and ‘support’.

Sara-Lynn Reynolds - Community Liaison
Home Instead Senior Care
508-222-0800 office
774-254-3413 cell

http://www.homeinstead.com/590/
http://www.homeinstead590.wordpress.com

Proofreading: Feel the Pain

      If you are a business owner, you write every day. Emails, notes, newsletters, articles, blog posts, Facebook updates, you name it, you’ve gotta write it. And as far as writing correctly, you either chew your nails over “its” versus “it’s”, or you don’t—you write what you think is right and hope the reader will forgive you if it isn’t. You might think that it’s easy as an editor to proof my own stuff, but no. It’s even more painful, because I check everything I write thoroughly and still make mistakes. I’m here to tell you, though, how important it is to make sure everything you write is as accurate as possible, because it all reflects on you as a business person.
     I have seen much in my years of editing for businesses. Believe it or not, I have seen people misspell their own company name, which to an editor is like fingernails on a chalkboard! So here’s my advice.
Don’t trust that computer program. Forget spell check and grammar check; you won’t like it when they turn “publick” into “pubic” after you’ve sent out that nasty letter to your local library. Do the work. Use Merriam Webster for spelling and a free online writing guide like Paradigm if you need to.
     Check for more than spelling and grammar. Check font for consistent size; check headings (a typical place for errors); check your phone number, email address and company name. Proof also for clarity and tone.
Read it over. Don’t ever, ever, ever send anything out without reading it carefully first. The simplest email can turn off a customer if it’s full of errors, an attachment is missing, or you sound angry when you really aren’t.
     Let it sit. The best thing you can do, if you have 24 hours, is to let it sit and read it again tomorrow. Pretend it’s wine and let it ferment (all right, a really cheap wine). You won’t believe what you find if you read it with fresh eyes.
     Get help. If you aren’t good at writing, get help—have a trusted friend proof it, or pay someone to do it for you. We’re fast, we’re reasonable, and we’ll help you look marvelous. Good luck!

Fran Fahey
Fran’s Fine Editing

Home Offices are for Wimps—Not!

Ah, the joys of a home-based business. Not having to change out of your jammies to begin writing. Being able to just leave to do an errand whenever you want. Roz Chast’s cartoon in the 12/6/10 New Yorker, called “The Freelance Life”, uses the punch line “Honey, I’m STILL HOME!” Great life, huh . . . oh, really?

I’ve worked from a home office for over 20 years. It’s not for the faint-hearted. Witness the bored cat who takes a leisurely stroll over your computer keys; the unfinished projects lying around the house that call out faintly to be completed; the realization that you’ve just spent the last seven hours tapping away without a break. It’s a challenge even for the most self-disciplined among us to work at home successfully.

So, I offer a few tips for those of you who are in my situation and haven’t been doing this for your whole lives yet.

Change out of your jammies. Pretend you are really going to work. I’ve found that if I don’t put on at least my lined jeans, a corduroy shirt, and regular shoes, I just don’t take it seriously enough and give it my all. Establish a clear boundary between your leisure time and your work day.

Find a good schedule and stick to it. Decide when you are most productive during the day, set up a schedule and try to work those hours each day. Schedule lunch, breaks, and close of business, so that you don’t forget to eat, go to the bathroom regularly, and stop working. Resist the temptation to log in again after work hours. Don’t let working at home interfere with your physical or mental health.

Treat your home office like it’s really an office. Even if you don’t have a separate room for an office, use a desk and file cabinet, not a corner of your kitchen table. Not that my own office is perfect, but I can find everything I need right away and my invoices are always up to date. I go to my office to work, and I leave when I’m done; the physical separation between work and play allows me to have the energy to enjoy and succeed at both.

If you have the additional challenge of providing child care while working at home, please share your ideas on how you run your home office. I wish all of you the best in managing your home-based businesses and achieving your dreams.

©2010, Fran Fahey

Fran’s Fine Editing

Dipping Your Toe Into Social Media

Brrr…it’s cold!
First you just get your feet wet. Soon you find the water around your ankles. The next thing you know your rolled up pant legs are soaked…and you’re having a blast.
That’s the same with social media. You have already started to get wet and you don’t even realize it. You use email, get e-newsletters, search websites and hey, you are reading this blog! These are all pieces of social media.
I’d like you all to consider other forms of social media. I know it may be scary. I also know the potential is exciting.  Why get involved in social media? It’s what’s coming. It’s the new way to communicate. Heck, it can be fun.
You don’t have to jump in and be an expert.
You wouldn’t dive into the freezing water, right? So why would you think you should know how to navigate different social media. Pick one venue and learn about it. Test it out. See how you like it. Then move in a little deeper.
Pick a form of social media you feel most comfortable with. Do you like to write? Start a blog (really, it only takes a couple minutes to set up, ask my sister). Do you love videos? Try out Viddler or You Tube. Do you like audio and music? Learn to make a podcast. Like to hang out with friends? Try Facebook or another social network.
Use our group as a resource. 
There are tons of people who are willing to help you understand a bit more about the social media platform you chose.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  It will save you tons of time in the long run.
All in all it’s about trying it out bit by bit. Learn what you like and what you don’t like. Just like a day back from the beach, you will feel refreshed. Learning something new always has that effect.  If you have set up some social media sites (blogs, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.) and want to really learn how to engage with them, join me for our Browser to Buyer 5 part teleseries.  WBN Members save 30%
So where are you going to start?


Jen
Jen Vondenbrink

Life Simplified
http://www.yourlifesimplified.com/
Life Enrichment and Leadership Training
781-864-1782